Abandoned Children and the effect of it on the Heart of a man...

Last night I dressed in tails,
pretended I was on the town.
As long as I can dream,
it's hard to slow this swinger down.

So please don't give a thought to me,
I'm really doing fine.
You can always find me here, having quite a time.
Countin' flowers on the wall,That don't bother me at all.Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.
=Eric heatherly…


Now you faithful reader are prob wondering…Uh WTF Mr P. What does that mean…
That riders is the start of the first serious post on the ride. WTF Jay say it aint so a SERIOUS post on here what you mean…Well its like this kiddies something is weighing on my chest and I wanna get it out…
Today's post is bout the biggest factor in any relationship I have ever made IN MY LIFE. Everyone friends fellow employees and even yes lovers. (sorry Mrs. P but even ours) . It starts with the first relationship you ever make on this world..MOM. My life has been and continues to be colored by the way I grew up and the rocky up and down relationship I had wit the first Ms. Prosser.
Me and her have always had a rough one once I came back to live with her. See I was taken away from my mother and lived with my grandma and aunts for a while as she attempted to sober her life up. This forced separation(yes the police were involved and I was literally removed out of my house at age 4. This first rift caused a ripple of doubt amongst my relationships after that…Abandonment for da win Alex…Yup yup that was the start of it all. NOW this might not be so bad if at the age of eighteen I hadn t been heaved out da house for doing the things eighteen year old guys like to do…Crochet! Ok so it was fucking but hey its my blog and Ill lie if I want to! This was the biggie cause ma was using again and I felt like she chose the drugs over me. Again.
Now you say Mr conductor where we going down this path of misery…Here it is I hold so many ppl too far away for them to be lil more then ppl I know and I a lil lonely. I only gots three best friends one is Mrs. P the other is Kay and my best man Raymond. With out these three I pretty sure I would be dead by now. But at age twenty three having gone to school with some ppl all twelve years and to have only three close loving friends….Kinda sad and pathetic right.
But I digress…this post was about abandonment and I feel I have been through the wringer with ppl. I hold most at arms’ length and then they go and prove why I should do that. Causing more heart ache as I lose even more trust and compassion for ppl. And as I burrow away from ppl I get more depressed and angry..and yes jaded. This abandonment is one of the reasons I hate people..Cause in my eyes its only time before you will walk away from me. You will desert in my time of need. I cling to some of you so tight I know I gots to be hurting you but I don t wanna lose more friends..Hell this year alone I had so many ppl I trust turn on me…But still grimly I hold on to the few left..I ask you as your conductor , friend, and long ago hurt child…Don t leave me again..It ll be too much this time…
Wipes eyes…..peace out lil homies and watch out for the kite string…
Your friend and Wolf in sheep’s clothing
Mr P…