Back to the scene of da crime...Where I am the victim.

Welcome Boys and Girls its another installment of self flagellation that is called Da Ride! I am your ever faithful writer and conductor down the highways and byways of Psychosis that is my lil adhd addled brain lol!
Its been a fun week really. I mean who wouldn t enjoy my week in hell. I mean its not like EVERYTHING went wrong and I feel like a TOTAL ASSHOLE or anything…Oh wait that is my week never mind.
I been at the old store this week and well…Lets just say that is prety much the same ol same ol wit out all the laughs I used to have or more of the headaches that caused my hands to twitch and my blood pressure soar…
OOOh I aint done a song of da week or kitteh well time to fix that right now..
Dude this kitteh is so me…..
more cat pictures

And today’s song in honor of feeling like a total dillweed os One little slip by Canadian popsters barenaked Ladies…


Lyrics Barenaked Ladies - One Little Slip lyrics

The kitties of summer and weekly bsing

more cat pictures

That kitties is your Kitteh Of Da Week!!

Song of da week…Shawty get loose!

Now I know all you readers of this blog just dropped a brick in your shorts but this song makes me smile and wiggle my tail which I know Tito likes! So there its song and kitteh of da week,

Well now on to less important things( dude I typed thongs at first that’s funny.!) still working and its going pretty decent. but I got a ish wit one person. I don t know how to be cool round her and she HATES me I am sure. Hopefully that resolves itself.
Well gots to go get my hair buzzed folks hopefully next time you see me ill be a blond lol..

Questions
Jason Prosser 08

Can dirty water cleanse the flesh….
Can tainted blood be lead to salvation.
How useful is a tool that cracks under pressure .

I ask these questions in whispered tones
I can t see why you want me
Darkness seeps into my soul at every turn.
And I turn away almost all the time .
I can t take that look in your eyes.
I been a disappointment
A failure
A Broken tool the day you brought me out the forge.

Can impurities be stripped by fire…
Can a lost lamb be welcomed home?
Why do you want this fallen soul so much.

I really mean what I say good sir.
Why am I so important
I am not your only child.
There are others more patient
More humble
More what you want me to be
With less willful stubbornness
And less blood on their hands.

Can I ever see your face My lord…
Will you ever walk away from your fallen son.
How can I ever find a way to pray for sins ill never forgive myself for?



Yay a new poem …has any one else noticed that my poems lately are less Grrr Stab GRR stab…And are a bit more melancholy….Weird…

Okay Besides the poem thing I have started to notice my posts have been a lot bout searching. Looking for something in my past or future. I feel some days my life is at a crossroads and that every day I am just delaying some change. Everyone who knows me that my age is a sore point with me but lately…Its more like a countdown to something I am gonna hate. Now I know Mrs., P can t wait to be thirty(weirdo) Me …Not so much. It scares me cause by thirty shouldn’t t you be like settled in a career with like your shit all Straight and like own a house and stuff…. I will be lucky if by thirty I can afford a cardboard box and spell my name right(prolly won t even have all my hair lol!) as for the shit straight but…UMMM Yeah that will happen really….(not bloody likely) So you can see why I am a lil scared bout that right!!!!! Hopefully ill figure all this shit out wit a lil help from my friends and ever faithful Riders…

Till the apocalypse comes and the earth goes kablooey I am your favorite Ride attendant
Me.

New weekly features and More on the theory of masks...

Well folks I am back with a brand new edition of flog your molly…heh heh. I mean Da Ride lol! As always I am your host and da biggest boss that ya seen thus far…Mr F’N P ! Welcome to all that want to read bout the psycho that is me…Or is it I aint sure anymore lol!

Now my last post on here was pretty deep and also one that is near and dear to my blackened lil heart. The theory of the mask…have you u figured out if you wear one…or multiples lol. I have come to one conclusion bout my problem of slipping behind em way too easy. Its because I been doing it since I was kid. Growing up the way I did it was easier to hide behind a bland exterior then letting people close to you inside. They might hurt you, turn on you …or walk away and your left holding your bean bag crying and sniffling again and again. Slowly but surely you just wear one all da time…then it evolves into something else but all the time it is not you just a mask….And all this happy go lucky skitz shit goes hand and hand with my depression and my abandonment issues…So go me you done hit the fucked up trifecta lol! That was the big epiphany for the week. If I get anymore ill let you all know.

Okay I am putting in a new feature to the ride. Every week is gonna be a song of the week…One that is really a fragment of My soundtrack to this crazy life…And this weeks Song is a lovely lil

Christian ditty by Mercyme…Coming up to breathe…

I'm in way too deep again
I've forgotten how to swim
I can't tell which way is up or down
Save me before I drown down here
I just need some airI'm coming up to breathe

Oh, I'm coming up to breathe
I've held my breath for all my life
But I am breaking free tonight
And I'm coming up to breathe

I just need to break these chains
I just need to leave this place
Before now this was all I knew
But with just one glimpse of You
I seeYou're the air I need

And another feature is LOLCAT of da week…something funny to make me chuckle…
Enter da KITTEH:


more cat pictures

So remember to enjoy your days and neuter your pets…

The art of maskwearing in the age of Insanity

Well myspacers and blogspotters its time for a new post…but oh no not just any post nope this one is so weighty I am letting both blogs share one post…And what a schizophrenic post (also pretty darn deep and emotional too!) Now lets get it on!
I once told a few pal and a therapist bout my theory on masks…Which s prolly why I was on medication. “masks” are the [personalities we wrap are selves in at certain times, with certain types of ppl, or in situations where we feel the need to hide our true self . Now I have worn a few and wore a few out…
Like the dusty old “goth Mask” I wore this one a lot///Or this pain in the ass one. My “wolfy” mask. God that time sucked in my life. Oooh its my ol fav “work” mask. Though one mask I hate is this one: Its my “healer” mask. He is a hypocrite I mean he help any one through any prob fix em up good as new and send them away happy as a pig in new mud…but when was the last time I asked for help while wearing said mask. I could be on fire pissing blood stabbed in the neck and shot ten times and all you would here is..”man I am tired!” Never have I asked for help with my depression when I should or any one of the demons screaming in my head…..So though it helps others it hurts me…
Now the one things I am really worried bout is this: if these masks are false representations of myself and the hide what I really want. How can I know my wants and feelings….Can you if you spent years denying what is the core of your being? Can you even be sure bout what that is???? I am trying to see if what I think is me is really me. But I usually get a head ache and smoke a cig to really contemplate that whole vipers pit.
So in retrospect I am pretty sure I am a nutball and you should tell me that. Or just let me know how you feel bout my mask theory. But ask yourself this…Do you wear one too?!?!?!?