Fear Death and a Cigarette
Jason Prosser
Fighting the sins of my Pops
The hard living
Smokes and Pepsi
Two more nails into the coffin top
Pounding my hands till blood pours down the side
Pooling at my feet
Screaming at Death to not drag Me away
Then Light up hastening his cold grip on me.
The Docs say I Live the Wrong Way
How the Fuck am I too change’
Its all I fucking know.
Stress and sleepless nights fueled by
Caffeine and nicotine
Bad food and
One Bad fucking ‘tude
Gotta make changes everyone says
But I don’t change very well!
So instead I drive the Nails deeper into the coffin top.
Pop another Pepsi
And drink it down
Chain smoke some more
While my mind yells What the Fuck you doing!
Fighting and dying two things that happen in my life
Fighting and smoking
Swearing and Drinking
Caffeine Fueling this sadistic Insomnia
That creates the stress
That I Fight against
1 fucking chain around my neck
Dragging further down the path
Of mutually assured destruction
The Coffin sits before me
Death sits next to me
And I cry to What???
The Trigger was mine to pull
(take another drag)
The game was mine to win
(Come on one more Cig)
The end was of my own choosing
(THIS AINT WHAT I FUCKING WANT!)
Burial and desecration of my dreams of my future
Lost among the Ashes in my mouth!
Sitting before the You I say…
How the Hell Am I supposed to
Change!
When I don’t even Know my self!
Change is a fear
And to fear is to die
And Death is a permanent change
And a permanent fear
And another Noose round my
Fucking Neck
Choking me out one last time….
Well went to the docs today for a cold and got news I don't wanna listen to....But I do wanna I just don't wanna hear it...but I gotta! So confused were my thoughts on this so i wrote a poem....And it came out well.....Now hopefully I can "man up" and do something to make sure i don t die at age twenty eight....
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3 comments:
Well I knew you weren't happy about me making you go to the doc but eeeesh!!
Was it really that bad?
Seriously though, we know it would've turned to pneumonia if we hadn't have caught it when we did. Sorry again for giving you bronchitis, the gift that keeps on spreading. Oh wait, that's your boss....
~smirks~
You know I love you babe. We'll get through this whole lifestyle change period of our lives, and when we look back on it a year or so from now, we'll be glad we did it.
Gym on Monday?
MWAH!
-me
It wasn t that bad hon...the poem was supposed to be more melancholy...but then it kinda evolved into this rant against the ininvatable tinged wit my fear that i am gonna end up like pops..only at a younger age...But i digress...thats a great zing against c dubs lol! Yeah gym on mon most def...maybe lunch too lol!
On c dubs, she just makes it so, ermmm, easy...
LMAO
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